2004-01-29
12:17 p.m.
Her temps have gone up a bit this morning� I am really hoping this is the one� please please please please�
I guess what will be will be� and on the other hand another on my online friends is due her baby quite soon... so I wish her all the luck in the world� I know she has been ttcing for a long long time... we met on the same board�. (www.babycenter.co.uk if you are looking for one... :))
Craig and I were ttcing for 3 years and during which time we had a miscarriage and Doc basically has now told us not to ttc anymore� so we are not� we have resigned ourselves to the fact that Adam will be our only child� (Do you see why exactly Craig is just the most wonderful person ever??? He takes on another mans Child and loves him as his own� :) Oh how I love my Man *sigh*) so I know what they have both been going through while ttcing� :)
I am really urgent for my friend not to have to go through the trauma of any Fertility Treatment�.. It is distressing all along and upsetting when it fails� it worries me that she will become depressed and feels like I did� because I am a fond believer that thinking negative makes negative... if you know what I mean�
Oh dear... please lord let her be ok�
On another tune�. Adam is off school again today the snow has turned to thick ice� Craig left work at 4.15 yesterday� and I knew the roads were bad... but on his way home it took them till 7.20 to get home again� he only works five miles away� but I asked him not to go today because I was worried about him being stuck out in the cold again.. Like yesterday� but of course... he had to go� and he left at about 7.15 this morning and still isn�t there now� it is 9.45� so what does that tell you?? I called his mobile� and asked if he was ok... constant worrying about him while he is out� and he said straight away he wil be lucky to get there at all today�! SO I ask myself was I right or was I right???
On another hand... I am getting really bad tempered... I don�t know why... it has been 6 months since my last period... and I don�t think I am pg... Although you never really know do you� but I don�t feel it... (Put it that way) to be honest� I would be frightened silly if I was pg now... I resigned myself to no more kids� and a life completely different� I promised myself travelling and culture� not nappies and milk�. Either of them options is appealing... but I am too scared to go through with this again... and were nearly married too� I don�t want to be pg on my wedding day� so if no period then I will test when I get back from honeymoon�.
If I can wait that long it is...
Oh I should say that no periods for months at a time are completely normal� I have PCOS in it severest form... Fingers crossed I am not pg... I only just gave up smoking for fucks sake!
huff - 2004-03-11
Bruce Almighty - 2004-02-27
3weeks2days - 2004-02-26
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fears - 2004-02-17
